In honour of the Orgasm Day, check out our curation of the hottest, most thrilling adult toys to satisfy the most discerning technophiles
Millenia before Sex and the City’s shy and demure Charlotte York walked into Pleasure Chest sex-toy store in New York’s West Village, bought the Rabbit vibrator with bunny ears and began cancelling plans with friends so she could stay home and bond with it, “adult toys” had a ceremonial and almost sacral nature.
Think sex and the sphinx. Legend has it Cleopatra copyrighted the vibe for early sexual consumerism by filling a hollow gourd with bees that caused the object to vibrate. In Ancient Greece, the clitoral cognoscenti reached for their olisboi (stuffed phalli constructed from polished leather, or brass, and even bread — think baguette — doused with olive oil lube). Dildos are even a plot driver in Aristophanes’ Greek comedy Lysistrata (411 BCE), wherein women of the warring Greek states withhold sexual privileges from their husbands and lovers as a means of forcing peace. In India, the famous Kama Sutra advised men to use “strap-on” appendages if unable to satisfy their partner.
The Italians gave us the word diletto (to delight) from which the modern English word “dildo” derived. By the Renaissance, dildos were art forms, and the upper classes had them custom-made from silver and ivory. In 17th-century France, they were made hollow and filled with liquids like warm milk to simulate ejaculation. In 1746, British author Henry Fielding’s The Female Husband: or the surprising history of Mrs Mary, alias Mr George Hamilton, contains a woman posing as a man and evoking a dildo. And a century before Charlotte York, the game-changer came with the first portable battery-powered iteration in 1883; and by the Swinging Sixties, innovations such as silicone for rubber had taken hold.
And now — oh irony of ironies — more consumer sex toys are designed by women, you could be forgiven for mistaking the recreational accessory as some futuristic artwork. Consider our current selects a tribute to ancient art forms, and a nod to the buzz of this increasingly expansive and rapidly growing sector.
Bond Girl
Vesper, designed by adult toy manufacturer Crave for Saint Laurent seems, strangely enough, a logical avenue for collaboration between the two brands. It’s, above all, an accessory — for pleasure both aesthetic and physical. The sleek, bullet-shaped vibrator, named after the fictional Vesper Lynd in Casino Royale, features four speeds and two modes (which aren’t shaken and stirred …) — not to mention the noise-suppressing design that makes it quieter than a library.
The Jewel
Kiki de Montparnasse turns experiences into rituals. Simple pleasure transforms into indulgence with The Gold Wand — a luxurious gold-plated dildo that runs cool to the touch and warms up in a matter of seconds. The Wand’s elegant curve massages the pressure points on the front side of the vaginal wall, gently stimulating the G-spot.
Pocket Pet
This one is for the gents. Hot Octopuss Pulse III — its name akin to some gaudy weapon of mass extinction from a 1960s sci-fi erotica — is what some call a “guybrator”. It coils around the shaft and stimulates its most sensitive areas, no matter erect or flaccid, while its ergonomic grip allows for maximum pleasure both solo and in tandem.
Courtesy of Dr Gwyneth, MD, PhD
The Ultraplush Self-Heating G-spot Vibrator, designed under the guidance of Miss Paltrow herself, is a fresh take on G-spot stimulation. This sleek tool boasts a smooth curve and a double-silicone coating for maximal sensorial satisfaction, while its self-heating mechanism helps relax your muscles for more robust arousal. From uber to luber lux.
Supernova
Run Rabbit Run. We-Vibe is spearheading the innovation with its latest invention — Nova 2. Its adjustable, curved design makes double external and internal stimulation easier than ever, while its remote-control function propels your and your partner’s play to an intercontinental level — with but a swift tap on the We-Vibe app.
Vulvalicious
Viva la Vulva is the pioneer in new-age clitoral stimulation. Made from silky-smooth silicone, this ultraquiet yet incredibly powerful toy boasts a wide range of vibrations — with the strongest frequencies right at the highest point of its arch. Keep this one in your handbag to enjoy a moment of pleasure while travelling or at your best friend’s wedding you were forced to attend while single.
Soft Power
Lelo’s F1SATMV2A is a state-of-the-art pleasure ‘chamber’ (if you will) that allows for supreme satisfaction from the base of the shaft to the tip. The pleasure console features multiple vibration centres and a ribbed silicone interior for a tight grip and a thrilling trip. Best part? It can be controlled remotely through an exclusive Lelo app in case you and your Roblox boyfriend wish to spice up your romance.