Dear Santa,

 

I’m sure you’re already quite aware that I’ve been good this year.

 

OK, maybe I’ve been good most of the time. OK, OK, it’s more like I’ve been good for about 65 percent of the time. I’ll admit that the rest was taken up by all the cocktails and calories I’ve consumed.

 

But let’s make a deal here, Nick. May I call you Nick?

 

I promise to be extra nice next year. I’ll even attempt to reign in the sarcasm and reduce the time I spend complaining about the weather, and in return, you might like to consider sending me one (or two) of the gifts in my list.

 

But failing that, please bring forth health and peace for everyone. That would be nice.

 

Thanks in advance.

 

Much love,
Fontaine

 

P.S. I’d also like to adopt a puppy and feel like you might be able to magically make that happen. Cheers.