As the world stands still in anticipation of Mariah Carey’s immortal corpse defrosting to the ominous sultry whistling, the steps of an eldritch pagan deity in blood-red velvet trimmed with rabbit fur are nearing. Soon the world will be simultaneously frozen and on fire. Christmas is coming.
As with any macabre pagan festival, Christmas commands a dress code. The arcane rules, much more ancient than the Hallmark channel, Fortnum and Maison hampers, candy canes or even Ms Carey herself, must be followed.
Here’s how you should dress for Christmas in a pagan-gods-honouring way.
What is Donatella up to? Directing a play naturally! For its holiday collection this year, the baroque-clad house created a Versace Teatro, with English model Lily McMenamy as its protagonist. Theatrical opulence and high-octane glamour define the collection, where Greca Goddess bags in pink, black and lavender join the novelties from the brand’s homeware collection. So next time you wish to embark on a journey from the opera house to your family Christmas dinner in nothing but a gilded bathrobe and hot-pink bedazzled Bratz heels holding two strass-embellished Starbucks cups, fear not. You can say that you are simply holidaying the Versace way. That should stop your mother’s waterworks and your daddy’s curses.
You may have mistakenly thought you know joy. You don’t, and you haven’t, and that’s ok, for it’s yet to book an overnight stay in your heart – as soon as you see the Prada holiday collection. The holiday lineup is rooted in the simplicity of those tender moments – when you open a gift box wrapped amateurishly by your boyfriend or look at that Christmas tree you decorated athwart your kids’ best efforts. The house elects the Prada box as a symbol of such sentiments. The faces of the campaign – Damson Idris and Diana Silvers – pose with the coveted accessories, new lifestyle objects and, of course, the boxes themselves.
Few can name the skull a symbol of Christmas, and Alexander McQueen is a part of such a provocative brigade. For its holiday collection, the maison broke down its signature Four-Ring clutches to bare essentials, reimagining them in resin in pink, red, pale blue, white, and iridescent and added a few models covered in stones of green, orange, maroon and black. Jewelled Satchels and Flat Pouches were not forgotten either – the new additions followed suit with Christmas-inspired hues. If you’re having a hard time choosing among all such abundance of stones and colours, our advice is: strap two clutches to the fingers of both hands and swing your arms really fast to establish dominance in your in-laws’ house.
Are you the one to spend Christmas and New Year on the slopes? Not skiing or snowboarding, God forbid, but chilling at a chalet with two magnums of Veuve Clicquot keeping you company. If the notion of a holiday tickles your spine, then Louis Vuitton’s Snow capsule might just be what your frozen heart is longing for. Conceived by Virgil Abloh prior to his passing, the collection captures Gstaad style canons with a streetwear flair, as seen from the reimaginings of the fair-isle motif and all-new powder-friendly versions of The Keepall, Discovery Bumbag, Dopp Kit and the Multipocket Backpack.